Tales of a Shit Bollard

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Here lie the exploits of a bollard whose shitness is still being slowly realised.

Blame it on the whitespace

Or "In which cGChris's shitness as a bollard was magnified beyond all comprehension."

[10/06 21:07:05] <cGChris> any JS wizards in here? [10/06 21:08:14] <Xomena> no-one is in here! [10/06 21:08:21] <Xomena> they're all being bad [10/06 21:08:45] <Esvandiary> lies [10/06 21:08:59] <Esvandiary> cGChris: err... definitely not a wizard, but try me if you like (apparently there's nobody better around) [10/06 21:09:12] <cGChris> any idea how to call a function within document.write? [10/06 21:09:28] <cGChris> i thought that this looked syntactically sound, but apparently not [10/06 21:09:29] <cGChris> var t=[200,-98,209,-98,162,-64,161,-47,93,5,92,30]; function (z) { document.write(String.fromCharCode(t[i]+t[i-1])); }; for (var i=1; i<t.length; i++) { z(); } [10/06 21:10:09] <Esvandiary> mm, looks like it should be ok (as long as String.fromCharCode() returns a string, of course) [10/06 21:10:15] <Esvandiary> could try putting ""+ on the start :D [10/06 21:11:25] <cGChris> no difference [10/06 21:12:48] <Esvandiary> also, that email address is not valid [10/06 21:13:09] <cGChris> yes, i know [10/06 21:13:11] <Esvandiary> :D [10/06 21:13:27] <Esvandiary> where is this code being executed [10/06 21:13:30] <Ragzouken> fyi you can just use string literals instead of encoding the data like that [10/06 21:13:48] <cGChris> Ragzouken: how would you suggest? [10/06 21:13:48] <Esvandiary> if it's not within the body, it might not work correctly (since said document may not have been created yet) [10/06 21:13:55] <Esvandiary> does that generate any JS errors? [10/06 21:14:09] <cGChris> bearing in mind that this is intended for obfuscation [10/06 21:14:53] <Ragzouken> why would you intend obfuscation [10/06 21:15:44] <Esvandiary> oh cGChris you fool [10/06 21:15:50] <Esvandiary> >function (z) [10/06 21:16:09] <Esvandiary> the code works perfectly as is :P [10/06 21:16:15] <Esvandiary> just you fail at defining functions :D [10/06 21:16:30] <Esvandiary> also, firebug would have told you that in approximately 0 seconds, go get it [10/06 21:16:46] <cGChris> firebug for lynx? [10/06 21:16:49] <Esvandiary> hell, the firefox JS console would have told you that in zero seconds too :D [10/06 21:16:57] <IdioC> Firebug is pretty good [10/06 21:16:58] <Esvandiary> ok, you're just being a moron... fair enough [10/06 21:16:59] <Esvandiary> :D [10/06 21:17:35] * IdioC plays the Looney Tunes "That's all folks!" outro [10/06 21:17:37] <Ragzouken> >intend to obfuscate [10/06 21:17:43] <Ragzouken> >test javascript in lynx [10/06 21:17:46] <Ragzouken> >shit bollard [10/06 21:18:21] <Esvandiary> no, develop javascript in lynx [10/06 21:18:28] <cGChris> *in emacs [10/06 21:18:28] <Esvandiary> that's the moronic part :P [10/06 21:18:36] <cGChris> so hang on [10/06 21:18:38] <cGChris> what's the problem? [10/06 21:18:39] <Esvandiary> ... my timing has never been better [10/06 21:18:43] <Esvandiary> >function (z) [10/06 21:18:47] <Esvandiary> do you see anything wrong here [10/06 21:18:57] <Ragzouken> if not, learn javascript before you write it [10/06 21:19:00] <cGChris> function (z); {}? [10/06 21:19:04] <Esvandiary> no [10/06 21:19:05] <cGChris> wrong way around [10/06 21:19:08] <cGChris> {} ; [10/06 21:19:09] <cGChris> ? [10/06 21:19:10] <Esvandiary> how does one normally define functions [10/06 21:19:13] <Esvandiary> in most languages [10/06 21:19:18] <cGChris> foo() {bar} [10/06 21:19:22] <Esvandiary> yes... yes they do [10/06 21:19:28] <Esvandiary> now look at what you have written [10/06 21:19:30] <cGChris> ROFL [10/06 21:19:46] <Esvandiary> :D [10/06 21:19:47] <cGChris> doesn't fix it [10/06 21:19:52] <cGChris> u bad? [10/06 21:19:54] <Esvandiary> it did when i tested it in firefox [10/06 21:19:57] <Esvandiary> using that exact code [10/06 21:20:07] <Esvandiary> (with the correction :D) [10/06 21:20:10] <cGChris> i assumed that the fix was remove whitespace [10/06 21:20:14] <cGChris> is this not what you were saying [10/06 21:20:18] <cGChris> am i a shit bollard [10/06 21:20:24] <Esvandiary> ... [10/06 21:20:30] <IdioC> with a blinking hazard light on top, yes. [10/06 21:20:33] <Esvandiary> you are a bollard made entirely of shit [10/06 21:20:39] <Esvandiary> indeed, with the blinking hazard light [10/06 21:20:50] <Ragzouken> >mfw [10/06 21:20:53] <cGChris> WATS WRONG [10/06 21:21:00] <Esvandiary> how. many. blunts. [10/06 21:21:01] <IdioC> in fact, you're the only bollard made of shit pointing the wrong way on this coding contraflow. [10/06 21:21:02] <cGChris> sorry for not knowing your shitty web 2.0 shit [10/06 21:21:02] <Ragzouken> what's your function called? [10/06 21:21:07] <cGChris> z [10/06 21:21:10] <Ragzouken> no [10/06 21:21:14] <cGChris> OH [10/06 21:21:14] <cGChris> FUCK [10/06 21:21:16] <cGChris> ALHLALHALHLA [10/06 21:21:19] <cGChris> CY@

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